#Better Late Than Never 13

Hey guys!!!!

So, i’ve been up and down the past few days…I feel SO numb emotionally…it sucks, but i’m thinking it may be because of the risperidone. I HATE not being able to feel, it makes me want to feel sad and cry, but I can’t even do that. Effects of Risperidone is a douche, I tell you, it turns you into a zombie. LOL…If anyone is in a predicament and they’re wondering if they should take it….do NOT take anti-psychotics…I repeat DO NOT! I want to come off them, they make my sleep unnatural too, which leaves me feeling weird in the mornings…feeling like I don’t want to get out of bed and can’t be bothered with life, not suicidal but a general mehhh feeling. Which I also hate.

I had suicidal thoughts this morning…along with the emotional numbness. It sucks ass, but on the plus side…i start college next week…i have to take two buses…i just hope and pray i can stick to the journey and complete the course LOL xD

Biking Around Town…

Alright so this week guys, I’ve decided I want to make a film, a short 5 minute one over the summer break, keep a written journal of my day to day life and feelings…AND guess what…I’ve taken up a new hobby. Biking. Now, I just hope that I can stick to it, I’ve decided that if I can make it a weekly habit, then I’ll be pleased, the way I think about things in life goes like this 1. If you can do it everyday for a week, you can do it for a month. 2. If you can do it for a month, you can do it for a lifetime. So how many life time habits do you think you can develop? Many…I reckon.

 

I’ve also decided that I’ll most likely make a new blog about my recovery and medications, I know I mentioned this earlier, but it’s coming clearer to me now than it was before, or is it?!?! To be honest, I don’t even know…I think I want to anyway.

My biking trip was really good, I enjoyed it a lot; even though it was short and only lasted fifteen minutes. It was totally worth all of the hassle, digging my fathers old bike out of the shed. I can’t say it was too comfortable though, I reckon this hobby will last and I’ll end up buying a fold away bike…I hope so anyway.

Peace Out My Lovely Ninja’s xoxoxo