So, i’ve been up and down the past few days…I feel SO numb emotionally…it sucks, but i’m thinking it may be because of the risperidone. I HATE not being able to feel, it makes me want to feel sad and cry, but I can’t even do that. Effects of Risperidone is a douche, I tell you, it turns you into a zombie. LOL…If anyone is in a predicament and they’re wondering if they should take it….do NOT take anti-psychotics…I repeat DO NOT! I want to come off them, they make my sleep unnatural too, which leaves me feeling weird in the mornings…feeling like I don’t want to get out of bed and can’t be bothered with life, not suicidal but a general mehhh feeling. Which I also hate.
I had suicidal thoughts this morning…along with the emotional numbness. It sucks ass, but on the plus side…i start college next week…i have to take two buses…i just hope and pray i can stick to the journey and complete the course LOL xD
Alright so this week guys, I’ve decided I want to make a film, a short 5 minute one over the summer break, keep a written journal of my day to day life and feelings…AND guess what…I’ve taken up a new hobby. Biking. Now, I just hope that I can stick to it, I’ve decided that if I can make it a weekly habit, then I’ll be pleased, the way I think about things in life goes like this 1. If you can do it everyday for a week, you can do it for a month. 2. If you can do it for a month, you can do it for a lifetime. So how many life time habits do you think you can develop? Many…I reckon.
I’ve also decided that I’ll most likely make a new blog about my recovery and medications, I know I mentioned this earlier, but it’s coming clearer to me now than it was before, or is it?!?! To be honest, I don’t even know…I think I want to anyway.
My biking trip was really good, I enjoyed it a lot; even though it was short and only lasted fifteen minutes. It was totally worth all of the hassle, digging my fathers old bike out of the shed. I can’t say it was too comfortable though, I reckon this hobby will last and I’ll end up buying a fold away bike…I hope so anyway.
Peace Out My Lovely Ninja’s xoxoxo